Staying
by RebbieChan
Summary: Alana spends the night at Margot's.


"You know you don't have to go." The words caught Alana off guard. She stopped midway pulling up her trousers.

"I thought that Mason-?"

"My brother doesn't care that I sleep with women, it's when I get attached that's the problem."

"Doesn't spending the night send the message of being attached?" She looked back at Margot, who had picked up her phone from her pants pocket on the floor and was browsing the internet.

"I'm not asking you to stay, I'm saying you can if you want." It was pretty clear to Alana, whether Margot realized it or not, that she was asking her to stay. It was two parts a front and one part a long developed coping method from all the times she had wanted closeness but her family and everything that happened to her prevented her.

"No, I'll stay." She slipped her dress pants off again and stiffly laid back into bed. Alana wanted to stay anyway. Margot lived behind many walls and masks. She was able to see through bits and pieces of them, seeing just fragments of the charming, scared, and hopeful woman beneath this tough and calculated exterior. She wanted to know the real Margot.

There was an express nervousness underlying the both of them. What now? What exactly did this mean? What was it going to mean?

Margot placed her phone on the end table before adjusting herself so that she was laying on her stomach, perched up on her elbows. "Nowhere to be?" She asked playfully.

"My dog's spending a few days with Will's pack," Alana explained, despite the lack of seriousness in the question, "she's been a bit depressed ever since I stopped watching them and then with my injury she hasn't got out that much." She was nervous and probably talking too much.

Margot smiled. "So you have a dog?"

"Applesauce, I can show you a picture on my phone if you like." Before she had finished speaking Margot had already reached over her to take Alana's phone and handed it to her. "Thanks," with her back that would have been a struggle. Alana tabbed through her phone until she found a few pictures before handing it back. "she's a rescue dog."

"She's cute." There was something very cute about seeing Margot Verger, in complete sincerity, call something cute. She swiped through a few pictures before almost reluctantly putting the phone down. Alana couldn't help but smile, so it wasn't just the horses, she was an animal lover.

"Ever had any dogs?"

"We had a few dogs and a few cats, but you probably don't want to hear what happened to them." Margot said dismissively. "Luckily, my father saw horses as a status symbol so they were always taken care of."

"Am I ever going to meet your horses?"

"I don't know," she was playing coy, "am I ever going to meet Applesauce?"

"Well, that would require you to visit my apartment."

Margot sunk further into bed. "That," she started dully, her mood shifting, "would give the impression of being attached."

"What's this to Mason?" Alana asked, "Why does he care?"

Her lips formed a thin smile. "You're his psychiatrist, you tell me."

Alana pondered for a moment. "He has a pathological need to be in control. He sees you as his property, in a way." Margot nodded her head side to side in probable agreement. "and in his mind, you…getting close to someone would be like them taking something of his. He's also a complete sadist," she added, "and would only want you or anyone to be happy under his own controlled circumstances."

"That sounds about right." She clapped her hands in jest. "Congratulations, Dr. Bloom, your degree's not just for show."

"You know what I say?" Alana leaned closer, "screw Mason. If he gives you trouble, I'll deal with him."

Margot laughed at that. "You're 4 feet tall."

"I've had a lot of experience in psychiatric malpractice this past year." She paused, as if considering it. "I could be force to be reckoned with."

"Oh, really?" She was trying to contain her laughter at the absurdity. "How'd that work out for you?"

"Not too bad considering who I'm in bed with."

Margot rolled her eyes and tried to hide a smile. "Clever," she huffed.

Alana rested her head on Margot's shoulder. She felt happy, she wasn't overthinking anything, she was just enjoying her. "You're cute, you know that right?" She said as she found the other woman's hand under the sheets.

Margot looked away, but interlocked her fingers and leaned against her. "I don't know what you're talking about, she said with dry humor.

Alana chuckled and kissed her cheek. _Oh God,_ she felt giddy and goofy and utterly stupid. When she was with Hannibal, she never felt like that, and even if he wasn't a psychopath, she had always known that a relationship with him wouldn't have lasted. This, however, felt very definite. It was like her first high school crush, she was filled with complete calm and excitement.

With the way that Margot kissed her next, she couldn't help but think she had to be feeling it too. It felt more intimate than the sex they had moments before.

When they parted, Margot looked her in the eye and spoke carefully, "really being with me would be difficult, you should know that by now." Alana took the words as they came, digesting them took time. "I can't just date." Her words were firm, solid, weighty things. "So you understand this?" She said as if the word was underlined, drawn out for a specific purpose.

She knew what this meant, what this was going to mean.

"I understand," Alana said softly. She smiled kindly.

Her eyes were wide and honest. "Then I'm afraid for you."

Alana nuzzled her head against her shoulder again to rest comfortably. "Then we're afraid for each other."


End file.
